Thursday, September 6, 2012

Children and Animals

I've  just realized that while children are dogs -- loyal and

affectionate -- teenagers are cats. It's so easy to be a dog

owner. You feed it, train it, boss it around. It puts its head on

your knee and gazes at you as if you were a Rembrandt painting.

It bounds indoors with enthusiasm when you call it.

Then around age 13, your adoring little puppy turns into a big

old cat. When you tell it to come inside, it looks amazed, as if

wondering who died and made you emperor. Instead of dogging your

doorsteps, it disappears. You won't see it again until it gets

hungry -- then it pauses on its sprint through the kitchen long

enough to turn its nose up at whatever you're serving. When you

reach out to ruffle its head, in that old affectionate gesture,

it twists away from you, then gives you a blank stare, as if

trying to remember where it has seen you before.

You, not realizing that the dog is now a cat, think something

must be desperately wrong with it. It seems so antisocial, so

distant, sort of depressed. It won't go on family outings.

Since you're the one who raised it, taught it to fetch and stay

and sit on command, you assume that you did something wrong.

Flooded with guilt and fear, you redouble your efforts to make

your pet behave.

Only now you're dealing with a cat, so everything that worked

before now produces the opposite of the desired result. Call it,

and it runs away. Tell it to sit, and it jumps on the counter.

The more you go toward it, wringing your hands, the more it moves

away.

Instead of continuing to act like a dog owner, you can learn to

behave like a cat owner. Put a dish of food near the door, and

let it come to you. But remember that a cat needs your help and

your affection too. Sit still, and it will come, seeking that

warm, comforting lap it has not entirely forgotten. Be there to

open the door for it.

One day your grown-up child will walk into the kitchen, give you

a big kiss and say, "You've been on your feet all day. Let me get

those dishes for you."

Then you'll realize your cat is again, a dog. 


 

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